5 Dating Myths That Are Keeping You Single

October 13, 2016 1:22 PM

Christopher Mobley

Lifestyle Writer

5 Dating Myths That Are Keeping You Single 

When it comes to love and dating, everybody thinks that they have the answers. A lot of times, advice and anecdotes regarding dating and relationships tend to seem more like cliches and sets of rules that people pretend are set in stone. Unfortunately, these dating myths tend to do more harm than help, whether their holding you back or directly causing you to turn off the man or woman that you're pursuing. Here are 5 relationship and dating myths that are more than likely keeping you single. 

1)“Good Men/ Women Only Go For * Insert Type Here *”
You mostly hear this sentiment in the context of “Nice guys/ good girls finish last”. When you hear people saying that “good women always mess with thugs” or that “all the good men” only go for certain types of women, mainly reflecting only on appearance and other shallow aspects, it's usually an convenient excuse for them remaining single. If you're listening to this rhetoric, then you too will be single. One common mistake that a lot of people make is attempting to change themselves slightly, whether it's giving themselves a little more edge or being a little more conservative than usual, in favor of this advice. This rarely ever works, therefore it's always better to simply be yourself and let the chemistry happen naturally. 

2)The “90 Day Rule”
Ladies, this is not saying that there are no good men who are willing to wait until the time is right. However, the “90 day rule” has a serious flaw when it isn't implemented properly. If you let a man know that you're not ready to have sex until a commitment or until you're positive that you and him are compatible with each other, he'll be more than understanding if he's a genuine guy who wants to get to know you. Where things go wrong is when there is sexual chemistry to go along with the mental and emotional chemistry, but as soon as things start to get “hot & heavy” or the man brings up the topic, you simply change the topic, or leave the guy hanging without explanation. This lack of communication ends up coming across as sending mixed signals, which cause the guy you're dealing with to question the relationship or simply move on while you make up your mind. 

3)“Playing It Cool” or “Not Seeming Thirsty”
There are many pieces of dating advice that play into this. Whether you're a guy “acting like you don't really care, because chicks dig that” (FYI, that doesn't work), or if you're literally counting how many minutes, hours, or days you should wait to text or call someone back or actually ask for a date, more than likely, you're not getting the results that you expected. Instead of saying less “this person knows their worth and I have to work too”, these actions actually scream “this person probably isn't that into me and maybe I should fall back”. When this happens, and you try to come back by actually showing interest, you'll end up turning off the person that you're interested in because of you're indecisiveness. 

4)You'll Never Find Someone Serious Online
Now in defense of those who may have this mindset, online dating isn't a easy as it sounds. Simply posting a cute pic with a witty profile bio and waiting for Mr. or Mrs. Right to send you a message is the quickest way to waste time sifting through the people who aren't serious. However, when you take online dating serious, and take time to actually find the right person and get to know them well enough to make sure things don't go south when you finally meet in person, it can be a good thing. Just remember, the success stories of those who found their soulmate online aren't just made up stories used to sell blackpeoplemeet.com subscriptions. 

5)“You're Not Getting Any Younger”/ Or “You Gotta Get Out There And Find Somebody”
While it is a good thing to get out there and find someone for you instead of sitting around waiting, this advice can often make people rush things when it comes to dating. When you're constantly with someone and things consistently fail to work out, not only is it wasting your time, but it is also keeping the right one from being able to get to you. Even though it's good to get out, meet people and date, sometimes you just have to chill out in order to keep yourself available for the right one that comes around. That's certainly a better plan than going to the club every single weekend hoping that you'll finally hit the jackpot!

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